Don’t be Needy, Be Succeedy

This week I bring with me some fabulous news; Laura is awake and talking! She can recognise members of her family and knows details about her friends with little prompting. Obviously the road to recovery is still very long and winding, but it’s just so brilliant to have her back with us. It seems hard to believe that just three weeks ago everything was normal and hunky dory. I’m full of confidence that now she awake, Lor will try her utmost to fight everything and get herself back to normal. On a slightly less fantastic front, I am still without a buddy for my big Scotland challenge ( despite my extensive and frivolous advertising.
It is at this point that I feel I should make a little confession; despite my obvious enthusiasm for raising copious amounts of money for the Thames Valley Air Ambulance (for Laura), I haven’t actually run since October. That is around seven months and not ideal for someone who is planning to run and cycle 109 miles in four months time. On Wednesday, I was lingering around twitter for want of something better to do and I saw that someone who I am following had entered a 10km run just down the road from me. Now, if he can drive an hour through central London to go for a run, I could probably stumble out of bed and drive the 7 miles towards Slough to get there. Buoyed by the ML (or motivitalised location to the untrained ear) and the positivity of my fellow runner, I entered the race with great relish and enthusiasm.
Having entered the race and parted with my hard-earned £15, it suddenly occurred to me that I really had to do the race. I spent the next hour wailing into the echoing depths of my office, batting away inane mocking from my colleagues and creating a hundred point list about exactly why I should not, and generally don’t, run. Although the feeling of dread and certain humiliation did not leave me, I was reminded of my £15 entry fee, which I was certain I did not want to wave goodbye to. It was at this point that I turned to my fellow runner/bastard that coerced me into running (delete as the mood takes you). He gave me what has possibly been the best advice possible; he told me about his Bible – The A to Zee to Motivitality – written by gansta motivator L Vaughan Spencer.
Immediately upon purchasing the book, I discovered that the extent of your success is very much dependant on how many copies you purchase. So I dug deep and bought another six copies. As Tesco so rightly say, “Every Little Helps!” Although this book has been aimed at businessmen and for corporate advice, I found so many useful tips in it. Although I was unable to fit a course of nutritional counselling in with L Vo before the race, I managed to take the basic principles from the book; in order to succeed, I had to apply Spellology to my diet. So, I threw away the pasta and porridge, which I had planned to eat pre-race and went out on the hunt for food beginning with my initials. As such, I lived on bananas, Bovril, beetroot, halibut and hare. All served with brown sauce, naturally.
So now I was well fed and nearly ready to race, but before I could get on the starting line, L Vo had some advice about my appearance. He advised me to take off the grass skirt and boob tube and to dress for success. Now, I usually wear my hair in a side parting, which is apparently terribly bad for my levels of succeediness. So I tied my hair back into a ponytail to keep the dragon of failure away and I was nearly ready to run. My final job was to load my trusty mp3 player up with suitable succeedy songs and moti-music, which were sure to give me a motivational lift on my way round the race.
Finally I was ready and the big day arrived. I arrived in plenty of time and I met up with James, who is a little further down the path to succeediness and righteousness than me. He helped me to prepare for the race by chanting our favourite moti-mantra and loosening our limbs up with a SucceeDance. Once the race got going, I focussed on my moti-music and kept running and running to stop the dragon of doom from pulling me back with him. I completed the entire 6 or 7 miles without walking and although I was slower than fellow succeeder James, I did it. I cannot imagine why James (who has run marathons) managed to complete the race in two-thirds the time that I did, when I haven’t taken a step in my running trainers for 7 months. All I can think is that it is because he has studied under L Vaughan Spencer and is an avid follower of his work. On the back of this, I’m exploring the possibility of going on a variety of courses, such as the Watford Warrior Weekend in the imminent future so that I will manage to get to Scotland and run/cycle the 109 miles for the Thames Valley Air Ambulance. There is a chance that I may have to run a little more frequently between now and September, but I think that learning the L Vo philosophy is of far greater importance.


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