To Wii or not to Wii; that is the question

“To Wii or not to Wii; that is the question:

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The remotes and nunchucks of outrageous fortune,

Or take arms against a Wii Balance board,

And by opposing end them? To end: to shutdown;

No more; and by a shutdown to say we end

The arm-ache and the thousand tired muscles

That Wii Fit is heir to, ’tis an achievement

Devoutly to be wish’d. To end, to shutdown;

To sleep: perchance to play: ay, there’s the rub;

For in that eternal shutdown what games may come

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

Must give us pause: there’s the respect

That makes calamity of a time limit…”

Now I appreciate that the children of 16th Century England did not have a Nintendo Wii to play with, but just imagine that in some freaky time travelling accident they find themselves with one. Would they actually play it? Just imagine explaining to someone, who has no grasp of our fast advancing technology, that they can create a character to look like them and simulate everyday sports, which require no costly equipment (such as jogging) in the comfort of their lounge. They would quite possibly think that we had fallen so far from our rocker that we had landed in Australia.

Having said that, put a Wii in the middle of a party and I guarantee that even the biggest technophobe will be queueing up to thrash around in a drunken attempt at Wii Boxing. In fact, I’m amazed that in the recent heavy snow we experienced that anyone went out sledging at all. Afterall, sitting in on some fake sledge in front of your television ducking and diving like a moron seems to hold a lot more fascination for our generation; why go outside when you can spend more on an inferior experience in your own living room?

Despite all of my criticisms, I find myself looking on Amazon and thinking “oh, £229 for whole lot including a balance board. Bargain!” Someone hit me. Please. Stop me from doing it. My half-hearted reasoning was that with a Wii Fit, I would get in great shape. Now even I can see that this has more flaws than our new Sainsburys multi-storey carpark. (Really? Ed.) For a start, the exercises on Wii Fit include Yoga and ‘gentle stretching’. I think I could manage that with the aid of a £9.99 fitness video. And as for the new fangled equipment required for that? A DVD player, which I could reliably buy from Tesco for circa £30. And secondly, it costs nothing to go for a good, old-fashioned run.

I’m desperate to cling to my principals, but the little child inside me (Stop it!) desperately wants one so that she can play like an idiot.  Whatever decision I make, I’m sure it’s the same as many people around the world. But just try and think ahead another four or five hundred years.  The school children of 2509 will be studying the ancient playwrights from way back in the 21st Century. Will the Wii be a big feature? Will teachers from the future have to explain what idiotic simpletons we were in the past. People have been fighting for our freedom for centuries, just so that we can chose to sit inside our house, doing nothing. I suspect that Shakespeare and many of the traditions from the past will outlive many of our modern fads and crazes.

In another forty years or so, teenagers might decide that communicating with their friends through myface, twatter or spacebook is just a bit naff when they could just talk to them. Miracles do happen. Meanwhile, I’m going to cling to the insincere and shallow digital formats where I can be as trivial and meaningless as I like, and no one will be bothered to criticise; they’ll all be staring blindly at their Wii instead.

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