Come in, pop the kettle on. Make yourselves comfy.

Hello, my name is Bryony. I am six and a half years old and a little taller than my dog, Ben. I like horses and dogs and playing with my friends. (Hmm… I suspect that recycling old work may let me down here.)

Well, not too much has changed in the intervening sixteen and a quarter years. I am still called Bryony, I still like horses, dogs and my friends. Thankfully, I have grown in the meantime and now stand at a staggering five foot six bearing down on my Border Terrier like a wayward leaf on an ant. (I think it’s worth noting at this point, that I wasn’t an incredibly stunted child, Ben was a German Shepherd and quite tall.)

I’m very pleased that by some strange, drunken accident that you have happened upon my blog. However you feel about it, this blog spot will benefit you. My intention is to share my slightly cynical views, which will (hopefully) be expressed in a dry and witty manner. If, by some miracle of miracles, this does happen, you’ve won. You’ve spent a few minutes reading something and hopefully it’s made you smile. If, on the other hand, you read it and think that it is the biggest metaphorical pile of turgid rubbish, you can smile safe in the knowledge that you are more talented, more witty and indeed, much more wonderful than I. Perhaps I should have a job in sales or marketing with the way that I’ve sold that to you. Probably best that I don’t.

I do find this part of any website rather self-indulgent; it makes me feel like I need to somehow overload you with a smug retelling of my CV and glorious social life. Well, after getting 16 grade A A Levels, I went to Cambridge University at the age of 16 and after graduating with a First, I moved straight into gag writing for the comic stars. Nope, I can’t do it. I sit in an average office casually forwarding “hilarious” emails to the people sitting next to me, but I can dream of great excesses and excitement.

I suspect that WordPress have more people signing up on January 1st than the rest of the year put together. Lemming-like, I have flocked mercilessly with the hoards. We queued up at 4am to get to the Boxing Day Next sale and then came straight here to jump on the New Year’s Resolution bandwagon. I am, of course, offering very reasonable odds with Honest Dave (my totally trustworthy bookie) about just how many blogs I manage to complete before giving up and sinking back into the mediocrity of life.

I have so far managed to write an awful lot and tell you nothing about myself. Perhaps I will take to this blogging malarkey better than expected. My other New Year’s Resolution is to complete the London to Brighton (on a bike, not as friends helpfully suggested in a car) and if this goes successfully, I shall bore the proverbial knockers (knickers surely? Ed) off you about the exciting event. Obviously if I don’t manage to do this and it falls by the wayside, it’ll never be mentioned again. You get that? If you aren’t sure about the status of the ‘cycling thing’, don’t ask until I mention it!

Anyway, welcome. Come and have a little look around. Blow the dust off the old place and enjoy.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: